All of the rational people in my life have been warning me that I’m taking all of this too fast and that my business should be mapped out in more detail. My father in law who is a business guru and incredibly successful entrepreneur has been asking about my business plan and whether I know how everything will be managed and what my profit forecasts look like. There has been question after question after question. In the past all of the picking apart, tearing down and attempts to make me see things more realistically would have caused so much self doubt and worry that I’d be stopped dead in my tracks.

You see, I have come up with all kinds of crazy business ideas that I thought would bring in money with little to no effort and absolutely no passion or stress. All these ideas fell flat within weeks or even days. They were all just ideas. But now I think the difference is that what I’m shooting for is a dream and honest to God money and profit margins have barely crossed my mind. All I know is that I have managed to put together a site that will bring all of the knowledge, wisdom and experience of some of the trainers I respect most in this world to one place, a place where everyone is welcome, and a place where like my dreams, their resolutions can become their reality.

For Fridays’ inspiration I found a quote that couldn’t be more fitting.

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. “

~ Henry David Thoreau

I received this in my inbox last night…along with a very long critique of my responses:

“As a newly certified trainer, feel free to incorporate the Official ISSA Trainers’ Logo on your new or existing business cards or forms.  Your future clientele will undoubtedly benefit from the hard work, dedication and determination you display in your own life and even more so benefit from your unbridled enthusiasm for fitness.  If you continue to live the fitness lifestyle coupled with your newly acquired knowledge then I feel your career as an ISSA trainer will be long and lucrative.  We feel fortunate to have a trainer of your caliber with your drive and ambition representing ISSA as a CFT in Hudson Ohio.”

I just finished my take home practical exam and it only took me a combined total of twelve hours. My brain is actually pretty fried right now. I hate to say it but it ranks right up there with taking the bar. It really does. When you know that every word you are writing will make or break your hopes and dreams and the future of your career, it doesn’t matter what the test…it is important and it is stressful.

The toughest part was dealing with the case studies where they give you clients with various backgrounds, abilities, disabilities, goals and levels of fitness and then you must TRAIN them! Imagine that! And train them I did. It took me several hours to create 12 week plans for each one but I think I did okay. I took my time and realized that there was no perfect answer. These were just people…very much like the ones who write to me on a daily basis. So I poured my heart and soul into it and hopefully my instincts were correct.

Thank you everybody who has put up with me and all of my stressing during this process. Now let’s all cross our fingers and hope that I pass!

I really hate to go a day without doing a substantive blog post but I think at 7:26 on this unseasonally warm Monday evening I have given just about everything I have to give today. I spent 8 straight hours taking my fitness certification practical exam, I cleaned the house, folded laundry and then drove an hour to and from my leg workout with my trainer Mike. I did some work on the business and chatted with my father in law about some ideas and  then spent some time with my family. But I think what I really need right now is to just lay down and  take a few moments to reflect on everything for a while. This is one of the happiest most exciting times in my life right and I just need to take a few moments to take it all in. I will most definitely have lots more to say tomorrow.

Yes, I have been posting quotes about fear all week so I see no reason to stop now. Today’s post addresses a reason why I have failed to succeed in the past and that was fear of failure or the fear that I was not good enough. I always thought that the people who ran everything, all of the corporate attorneys, stock brokers, surgeons, entrepreneurs and CEO’s had some type of superhuman intellect or had brains that just operated on a totally different level than me. I couldn’t fathom how they could get up in the morning without being overcome by anxiety and self doubt. How could they be brave enough to lead people and to make such costly decisions?

Over the past week, I’m not even quite sure how it all happened, but I’ve had a logo designed for my company, I’ve designed an interactive website for my company, I’ve hired an attorney to cover my rear, I’ve negotiated deals with my independent contractors, I’ve decided upon a registered agent for my LLC, I’ve taken the first half of my personal trainer examination and scheduled my CPR/AE certification course. I have researched all of the tax ramifications and have determined what type of insurance I must carry to protect myself and my company. I have all of the filings for the Secretary of State printed out and ready to go and did I mention I started my own company?!

Point of this is that I think my desire to succeed and make my family and friends proud of me again has surpassed the fear I have of failing. Since I know I can’t sink down any further or disappoint anyone any more than I already have, there’s really not much to lose but there is so very much to gain. Now after all of that, here is the quote that touched me this morning.

‎”One of the commonest mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic – something or other which we do not possess. Success is generally due to holding on, and failure to letting go. You decide to learn a language, study music, take a course of reading, train yourself physically. Will it be success or failure? It depends upon how much pluck and perseverance that word “decide” contains. The decision that nothing can overrule, the grip that nothing can detach will bring success.” -Maltbie Davenport Babcock

I get messages and emails from many of my readers thanking me for sharing my story and my journey from darkness to light, but it’s rare that I have someone check in so frequently to make sure that I’m hanging in there. Ken took the time yesterday to share with me a Bible passage that he thought suited my situation and it couldn’t be more perfect. And no, it’s not Friday, but I’m going to share this inspirational passage anyways. Thank you Ken.

You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on Me. People usually associate victory with success; not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes. But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me. It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me.

True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plan My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. you know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me. Enjoy the blessedness of a victorious life, through deepening your dependence on me.

Read: Psalm 34:17-18; 2 Corinthians 5:7

Well all the nuttiness of my life has caught up to me. I am just flat out sick. I really don’t even have the energy to blog let alone work out today so I’m just going to share with a you a link from the Mayo Clinic with guidelines of when it’s okay to push yourself physically and when you should just give it a rest…literally.

I know that no one is immune from fear (and yes it’s becoming a theme), not even the immortal Steve Jobs. Here is an incredible quote of his that I found today and keep reading over and over.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.